Lady Gammy-Foot
by PablosGirl
Summary: "I don't mean to be ungrateful or anything, but...a real lady doesn't leave the house without panties..." Tonks needs help...and Remus unintentionally turns into her white knight. Just a little, light-hearted, "The Big Bang Theory"-inspired oneshot. Set between OotP and HBP. Rated T because of very little, mild swearing. Enjoy!


**Hey there everyone and welcome to my little "The Big Bang Theory" inspired oneshot!**

**I can't remember when I wrote this one, but I recently found it in my folder and I thought I might as well give it a try and share it with you guys :) If you watch "The Big Bang Theory" you'll quickly recognize the plot but I hope that I could give it a little Remus/Tonks-ish touch ;)**

**It's definitely not the most poetic piece of writing, so don't expect a masterpiece (as if I'd ever produce one, tsss). It's just supposed to make you smile :) **

**I'd love to read your opinion, so please leave a review to let me know whether you liked it or not. I really appreciate any feedback! **

**I only uploaded it in German at first, but thanks to ****_Is A Bell X3_**** you get it in English as well. But if anyone of you would like to read it in German, feel free to give it a try! You'll find it under the title "Hals- und Beinbruch".**

**I didn't triple check it, so I hope my spelling, grammar etc. aren't too bad. **

**Enjoy! **

**xo PablosGirl**

.o.O.o.

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, I don't own anything! In this case I don't even own the idea for the storyline because it was heavily inspired by the episode "The Adhesive Duck Deficiency" (S3E8) of "The Big Bang Theory". Therefore this storyline belongs to the respective owners of this series. I don't make any money with writing this story, I only do it for fun.

.o.O.o.

* * *

The usual, every evening rut had taken over 12 Grimmauldplace. All day long, Sirius and Remus had tried to clean the remaining rooms from the Black family's old, partly dangerous, stuff while Tonks had spent her day at the Ministry, pursuing her Auror duties.

The sun had already set and so Remus had gone into his room to sit down in his armchair with a cup of tea and a good book. He was so absorbed in the old book in his hands that he didn't even notice the muffled sound of water running in the shower on the other side of the hallway.

But what he did hear was the startling rumble and clatter which snapped him out of his quiet, enjoyable reading time. He quickly sat up and waited for any other noise until he eventually decided to get up and find out about its source.

The water was still running but Remus' sharp wolf ears perceived something else; a muffled whining and cursing.

"Ouuuuch...damnit Tonks! Argh, this hurts...ow ow ow ow ow...fucking troll-shit!"

No doubt, this was definitely Tonks swearing along behind the bathroom door.

Remus immediately blushed as the thought of Tonks in the shower crossed his mind.

"Sirius? Remus? Is anyone there? I think...I think I need help..." sounded Tonks' voice from the bathroom, desperately waiting for an answer.

Remus started to look around hectically.

_Damnit!,_ he thought.

"Err...just a moment, Tonks!" yelled Remus back towards the door, carefully tapping it with his wand afterwards to cast a silencing spell over it.

"Sirius? Sirius!" yelled Remus nervously, but the Animagus was nowhere to be seen or heard.

"Damnit!" mumbled Remus as he lifted the spell from the door and heard Tonks' pained hisses again. He didn't have the time to go and look for Sirius in this bloody house right now.

.

He vainly tried to swallow the lump in his throat once more before he reached his hand out.

Knock, knock...

"Tonks?" mumbled Remus, carefully keeping his eyes on the ground...just in case Tonks would suddenly open the door butt-naked.

"Remus? I need help!"

"Should...should I come in?" he asked shyly.

"Of course! How else are you going to help me? Ouch, damnit!" replied Tonks a bit annoyed but she was obviously in pain.

"Okay."

He carefully opened the bathroom door; the water had stopped running by now. He only lifted his gaze very slowly until he saw the still closed shower curtain with Tonks' silhouette behind it.

"Oh, Merlin..." mumbled Remus to himself and quickly averted his eyes again.

"What?"

"Nothing! What...happened?" he asked, standing helplessly in the middle of the bathroom.

"I slipped and twisted my ankle...I think," said Tonks sheepishly with suppressed pain laced into her voice.

"Didn't you use an anti-slip spell?" asked Remus without thinking about it.

"No, but does that really matter now? I need help, Remus. I think a hurt my ankle. Could you hand me that towel over there?" replied Tonks in a strained tone.

"Sure..." he mumbled and handed her the towel while looking in the opposite direction.

"Thanks," said Tonks and after a lot of shower-curtain rustling and several "ouchs" she tried to step out of the shower, only covered in the big, violet towel wrapped around her body.

But as soon as she put a little weight on her hurt foot, an awful pain struck the joint; Tonks yelped with pain and nearly would have fallen to the floor...hadn't there been Remus, who quickly grabbed her arm and stabilized her again.

"I'm...sorry," he mumbled as he let go of her again, his cheeks a deep red.

But Tonks didn't react. Instead she just stood there, eyes locked on the floor and a hand covering her mouth.

"Tonks?" asked Remus worried. And his worry wasn't unfounded because when she looked up at him, her eyes were full of tears and her face one single expression of pain.

"Hey...I...come on, let's sit down first," said Remus hastily and steered her towards the toilet.

"Let me take a look, okay?" he asked hesitantly and knelt down in front of her after a short, silent nod.

She's hurt...she needs your help...no time for embarrassment, Remus, thought Remus frantically as he gently grabbed her leg.

"Please be careful," said Tonks sheepishly and looked down at him with big, tear-filled eyes.

Remus nearly melted away at the sight and he felt the sudden need to take her into his arms...but the ankle had to be taken care of first...and her outfit didn't make it any easier for him either.

"Of course," he said with a worried smile.

And so he turned to her ankle again. But as soon as he touched the swollen joint, she took a sharp, hissing breath and he immediately let go of her again to look up at her.

"I'm afraid we have to take you to St. Mungos, Tonks. This should really be taken care of by a proper healer," said Remus sighing.

"Oh no...can you help me up?" she replied and Remus guided the limping with out of the bathroom.

He already steered her towards the steps when she suddenly stopped.

.

"I can't go like this, I have to put some clothes on first," she mumbled sheepishly and nodded towards her room.

"Right," mumbled Remus and they slowly walked to her room where she sat down on an armchair with a pained moan and looked up at him with an expecting expression.

He just raised his eyebrows and silently gestured at her wardrobe. Tonks nodded as enthusiastically as possible. And so Remus nervously browsed her colourful clothes for something sensible. He eventually held up a big purple hoodie and some loose sports-shorts.

"Shorts? Remus...it's October," chuckled Tonks.

"But then you won't have to roll it up or take it off when they examine your ankle," he replied calmly until he reached the words "take it off", which made him blush again.

"Right, good idea!" replied Tonks smiling and pulled the sweater over the towel.

"But...Remus?" she added shyly and Remus was surprised that she was the one blushing as he turned around again.

"Hmm?"

"I don't mean to be ungrateful or anything, but...a real lady doesn't leave the house without panties..." she said smiling and the red on her cheeks got even deeper.

But this was nothing compared with the blush appearing on Remus' cheeks at that moment.

"The upper drawer on the right," she said and he could hear that she knew exactly how uncomfortable he felt. "Just take the first thing you can grab, okay?"

And so he silently did as he was told and only five awkward minutes later, they flooed to St. Mungos' emergency room, which was fortunately not too overcrowded at the moment.

.

"How about you sit down and I go to the reception for you?" suggested Remus with a shy smile before he left for the reception desk.

"Hello," said the nurse and carefully looked at his tired eyes, pale skin and the fine scars on his hands.

"Hello...I'm here with...a friend. Nymphadora Tonks. She slipped in the shower and probably twisted her ankle...can't put any weight on it," explained Remus.

"There are some crutches over there, just grab one for her. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit. We'll call Miss Tonks out then," said the nurse surprisingly friendly.

"It'll take a while, right?" asked Tonks with big eyes as he sat down next to her.

"Yep."

"Can you see that I cried?" she asked after a few silent moments.

"No..." he replied a little too late to sound credible.

"Oh no..." she mumbled and tried to wipe around her eyes as discreetly as possible.

"Hey, you're hurt. No need to be ashamed, okay?" said Remus gently and Tonks gave him a grateful smile.

Remus would have loved to comfort her...but how?

"This really hurts..." she mumbled, trying to stifle a sob.

Remus head started to work and when he looked down on the picture of misery next to him, he couldn't help it and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Shhh, it's going to be fine, okay? I know it hurts, but it won't be long and they'll patch you up again, alright?" said Remus sympathetically.

"Thank you for being here with me," she said with a crooked smile. "I shouldn't be whining...this is nothing compared to what you're going through every month..."

For a few seconds, there was a thick silence between them while Remus searched his brain for the right words...

"Don't say that. Those are two completely different things. I always swear when I hit my toe on the table like I'm in agony even though I know better. And your ankle really looks bad," he said smiling and her relaxed chuckle made his smile even bigger. "Apart from that...Sirius always used to act like he was going to die when he got hurt in Quidditch. Not in front of the girls, of course. But as soon as we were alone one could have thought that his last hour had come. And yet I still like him."

"It's really admirable how long you've known him without killing him! I'd really love to hex him in his sleep sometimes," said Tonks chuckling.

"I guess we're just too close after all we've been through. Nothing Sirius does could change that," replied Remus and shrugged his shoulders.

"Could you tell me something about your school time?" asked Tonks carefully because she knew that retelling all those happy memories also always reminded him that he had lost everything.

"Sure," he said smirking and started to search his mind for some good old Marauder stories while Tonks leant into his arms...

Only when the healer called Tonks out, Remus realized how close she was to him and he stood up to help her to her feet.

"I'll be waiting here," he said as Tonks limped towards the healer who guided her into the examination rooms.

"What a nice, helpful companion you have," said the healer friendly as Tonks said down on the treatment couch. "I see you already cooled the joint."

"Yes, without him I'd probably still sitting in the shower...he used a cooling spell and took me here," replied Tonks smiling.

"Well then, let's take a look," said the healer and Tonks held her breath, preparing for the pain...

.

When Tonks returned to the waiting area with the healer, Remus hesitantly walked up to them.

"Everything patched up?" he asked with a small smile.

"Yes, but it will still hurt a while, so I gave Miss Tonks a sick note for tomorrow and some pain-relief potion to take with her," replied the healer with his hands in his pockets.

"Good...um, which potion did you give her, by the way?" asked Remus casually.

"Dolorium Analgeticumensis. It works quickly and best with this kind of injuries ; almost no side effects," replied the healer slightly puzzled.

"Oh," said Remus with a crooked smile and looked into two, confused faces.

"Well, she's a Metamorphmagus...so we're in for a funny night," explained Remus amused.

"Oh, I understand," replied the healer and now a little grin appeared on his face as well.

"What? What about it?" asked Tonks confused.

"This potion has a different effect on Metamorphmagi. It doesn't only take away the pain, but it also raises the spirit. At the same time, it has a slightly tiring effect. You'll see. Are you alone at home? No? Good, we don't want you to start jumping around on a trampoline or something like that...Well, I have to look after my next patient. Get well and goodbye!" said the healer and the two headed home.

"How do you know about all this stuff?" asked Tonks curiously as they stepped into the kitchen at number 12.

"I've had enough time and opportunities to test almost every single pain-relief potion, soo..." he said blinking and pulled the cork from the small bottle of emerald potion. "Here."

"Not that bad..." said Tonks surprised after she had emptied the potion. "Mmm...Remus?"

"Hm?" he mumbled and turned around to her again as he noticed her suddenly shy tone; he tilted his head and leant his back against the kitchen counter.

Tonks slowly stood up from her chair and limped over to him.

"What's wrong?" asked Remus, trying to sound as calm as possible and yet her approach made him somehow nervous.

"I just wanted to say thank you...for helping me and looking after me...I know how uncomfortable some things made you feel," she said smiling as she stood right in front of him. She just looked up at him, a grateful twinkle in her eyes, before she got on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

At first he was a bit surprised, but he quickly pulled her into his arms and gently stroked her shoulder with his thumb until she drew bag with a big yawn.

"Do you want to go to bed?" he asked smiling, trying to suppress the burning sensation on his cheeks.

"Naaah," replied Tonks grinning and started to giggle.

_So it begins..._

"Come on, let's go to the living-room," he said smirking and steered the giggling witch out of the kitchen.

.

Once they had sat down on the sofa, Remus within a safe distance from Tonks, she immediately started to rattle away. And so Remus heard some entertaining stories about the daily madness at the Aurors' Office. About coffee-shortages which recently drove the colleagues mad. And about the paranoid Alastor Moody, who suspected an enemy behind every corner and therefore made the perfect target for office pranks. Or about the old reception witch on the fifth floor and how Tonks wore a different "preposterous" hair colour every day just to tease her with it.

Remus honestly enjoyed listening to her stories but he couldn't bite back a small grin as he noticed how Tonks' eyelids seemed to get heavier and heavier. She had curled up in a ball right now with her head lying next to Remus, who had to keep himself from brushing a loose strand of pink hair behind her ear.

"Don't you want to go to bed, Tonks? You're almost falling asleep," said Remus after Tonks had been silent for several minutes.

"Not tired..." she mumbled into the sofa.

"Of course not," he replied chuckling.

"Too tired to go upstairs..." she mumbled again.

"I can carry you upstairs if you want," suggested Remus hesitantly.

"You'd really carry me up the stairs?" asked Tonks smirking while her eyes were still closed.

"Yeah..."

"Like a prince carries his princess?"

_That's just the potion, just the potion...,_ thought Remus.

"If you think so," he said grinning. "Tonks?"

But Tonks didn't react...sleep had obviously won. So Remus stood up and hesitated for a few moments before he gently wrapped his arms around her knees and shoulders to lift her up. When he reached the stairs, Tonks stirred in her sleep and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her face against his neck. Remus couldn't bite back a big smile when he felt her warm, even breath tickling his skin.

"There we are," he whispered as he placed her on her bed and carefully covered her with a warm blanket. "See you tomorrow, Tonks."

But when he turned to walk away, Tonks moved again.

"You can't leave now!" she mumbled into her blanket and Remus froze.

"Err...why?!" he asked nervously.

"You have to tell me a story..." mumbled the sleepy witch.

With a relieved sigh, Remus sat down on the edge of her bed.

"And what kind of story would you like to hear?"

"A nice one."

_Great, very helpful..._, thought Remus.

"Okay...well...once upon a time, there was a boy who didn't have any friends. Nobody wanted to play with him and so he got more and more sad-"

"That's not a nice story."

"Wait, Tonks," said Remus chuckling. "His parents told him that it wasn't his fault, but the boy didn't believe them. When he went to school for the first time, he was very scared. He was so far from home and he was afraid that no one would like him here, either. But he quickly met three other boys who were all different to all the others in their own kind of way. And so they became friends; the best friends the boy could have ever wished for. They laughed together, played pranks on others and they were always there for him, whenever he needed them. And so the school time, which had initially scared the boy so much, turned out to be the happiest time of his life. And this would never, ever change. The end."

When he had finished his story, he looked down at the sleeping Tonks; a gentle smile was playing on the corner of his lips. He carefully pulled the blanket up to her chin when she suddenly kissed his hand incredibly gently, right where an old scar covered his skin. He froze and looked down incredulously at the tingling spot. Tonks, however, was still fast asleep as if nothing ever happened.

And so Remus stood up and shook his head with a small smile on his lips. When he reached the door he turned around again to look back at the peacefully sleeping witch.

"Good night, Tonks," he whispered and closed the door...


End file.
